What Attending the 2011 Joining FORCE's Conference Can Mean

FORCE (Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered): About Us

The video about the Joining FORCE's Annual Conference shows so many important reasons to attend. This coming year will be my third time attending.

The first year I went, I really needed the affirmation that I did the correct thing. I had gotten the results of my being BRCA2 positive back in 1996. I had genetic counseling. It is so very important to get that. I was given sort of a road-map to what the future would encompass as far as my BRCA status. My choices were varied: from surveillance to surgery. In 2007, I opted to go the whole 9 yards and have a Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy (PBM). Since I had so many problems along the way with the PBM, I needed to feel that I made the right decision. I had lost the left implant in August of that year and in 2008 I got to go to the Conference. During the intervening time period, I posted on the message boards and in the chat room at FORCE and joined the local Outreach Group.

Quite honestly, I felt pretty beat up! I was cancer-free but feeling very let down by my body. But being surrounded by other women who had traveled the same road gave me my affirmation. I met several women with whom I had only communicated over the Internet or by phone. By taking the time to attend the Conference, I felt the impetus to go back to Philadelphia and get the word out about FORCE and the BRCA Community. I learned more about the genetic mutation that put me and my family at the increased risk. I also got to view the then unreleased movie, "In the Family". Several of us sat in the back of the room and just cried. Joanna Rudnick, the producer and star of the documentary was there and I was so proud of how FORCE helped to make this film a success.

I also met another FORCE member who befriended me was Diane Tropea Greene. She is the author of "Apron Strings: Inheriting Courage, Wisdom and . . . Breast Cancer". She and I "met" on the FORCE message boards and she and one of her sisters attended the Conference and she signed her book. What an inspiration. This is such a good read; you laugh and cry and I found myself nodding my head at so many shared instances in life.













The second year I attended the Conference, it was moved from its original site in Tampa to Orlando, FL. The attendance had grown from about 250 to 500! I felt honored to again be selected to receive a scholarship to attend. I went with one of my close friends who happens to carry the BRCA1 gene mutation and also has had Breast Cancer affect her family. We learned even more at this Conference. The biggest part was growing the Outreach Group in Philadelphia, volunteering opportunities and again, feeling like I belonged to a group that understood my decisions.

At each Conference, there is a "Show and Tell" room, just like we have at most local meetings. Only this years' room was spread into at least 3 rooms. Each woman shows off her mastectomy along with her reconstruction or lack thereof. The year before I had gone there with one implant and one skin flap where the other had been. This time I had a completed set! We shared, showed and commiserated. Other women were given the opportunity to ask questions about different kinds of surgeries, procedures and end products. Not every set was perfect and we wore our scars with pride! It felt kind of strange, walking around with my top off, getting "felt" by other people, and talking honestly and openly about BRCA and my PBM. I almost went downstairs to the main floor of the suite without my t shirt! Good thing I was stopped on the stairs.

Again, I got to meet with others not only from the FORCE website but also from the Facebook pages as well. Sounds trite, but it IS good to put faces to names. I caught up with old friends and met many new ones. I learned some very good points at this Conference, different from the last. Each year there are always new sessions and I tried to attend them. I found out that I like to write and Kathy Steligo, author of "The Breast Reconstruction Guidebook", conducted a very intense session on writing.

One of the highlights of the Conference for me is the Saturday Morning Round Table Discussion. Each speaker has a table, obviously, and makes themselves available for a question and answer session. It is so wonderful to get more in-depth with the most knowledgeable people in their field.

I am hoping to get another scholarship this year and go again. New discussions are waiting! I also am very interested in learning more about fundraising on behalf of FORCE. I do what I can but I know there is so much more. I want to find out about getting FORCE's name and mission out there in the public eye. The BRCA gene mutation is so very misunderstood, by laypeople as well as professionals. If I can change my area of the world, then I feel I have done my part. If I can reach out to just one person and ease their mind about their BRCA status or impending surgery, then I have accomplished more than what I hope.

Love and hugs,
Beth

Saying Prayers and Moving Forward

I have come to notice that I did not blog at all in the month of August. While my erstwhile fellow bloggers have latched onto news headlines, heated topics and their own journeys, I have blithely ignored typing anything at all. Not that I don't have things to say or nothing on my mind. Rather, the things on my mind are very difficult to put into writing. I have a handful of wonderful friends with whom I share some of my innermost feelings but even there I hold back. Larry, my husband and best friend, does not see a whole picture.

This past month has seen a lot of events. Birthdays are numerous among my family and friends over the summer months and it seems like a summer-long celebration of life. It started with just that: One of my FORCE Friends(Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered, www,facingourrisk.org) had celebrated her 50th birthday. She wanted us all to celebrate LIFE and our various journeys that got us to this point in time and how our lives have all intersected. She has been battling Breast Cancer for several years and been Stage IV for quite some time. As of this writing, she is in hospice at home. Her husband wants everyone to understand that this is not the end, but rather for her to catch up and be able to be in her own home instead of the hospital. But from what he says, she is tired of the fight and the chemotherapy, the stomach problems, the fatigue and the headaches and IV bags.

It is selfish of us to have her keep fighting when she herself wants none of it. I realized the same thing when my father was nearing the end of his battle with Breast Cancer.

Where I would normally recite and sing the Mishebayrach for her and others who are trying to keep fighting this beastly disease, I have heard another song recorded by Debbie Friendman. It is called "Mourning into Dancing" and her YouTube recording is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLsTk0YpE4A

Many of the songs and prayers Friedman sings are on this album:



The lyrics are universal and transcends all faiths as does so much of Friedman's liturgy. I will remember my family and friends' battles with cancers, their grace and spirit. And I pray that from this day forward that God, or however you perceive a Higher Power, will be with us all when we are in need, whether or not we know it ourselves. The lyrics follow:

He's turned my mourning
Into dancing again
He's lifted my sorrows
I can't stay silent
I must sing
For His joy has come

Where there once
Was only hurt
He gave His healing hand
Where there once
Was only pain
He brought comfort
Like a friend
I feel the sweetness
Of His love
Piercing my darkness
I see the bright
And morning sun
As it ushers in
His joyful gladness

You've turned my mourning
Into dancing again
You've lifted my sorrows
And I can't stay silent
I must sing
For Your joy has come

Where there once
Was only hurt
You gave Your
Healing hand
Where the once
Was only pain
You brought comfort
Like a friend
I feel the sweetness
Of Your love
Piercing my darkness
I see the bright
And morning sun
As it ushers in
Your joyful gladness

Your anger lasts
For a moment in time
But Your favor is here
And will on me for
All my life time


Sending Shalom, Peace, and my Love and hugs to all!

Beth