I am not one to mince words. Nor do I suffer in silence, ha ha! So today I am posing questions concerning major changes in my Half Century Body.
First of all, the gray hair is multiplying. Its OK since I have been coloring my hair as far back as in high school. I used to gather at my friend Karen's house and we experimented. One time we tried to put henna in our hair. Both of us have dark hair, well, according to memory it was dark. So henna was a failure since it really didn't show up. Afterwards when I tried it at home, I thought my mother would kill me while I was using it because I caused some henna stains on the wallpaper and no real evidence of it doing a thing to my hair.
Then one time we tried using hair painting which was what they called highlights in the 70's. This became disaster number two because if I recall, we bleached part of her mom's bath towel. Nothing like an Italian screaming at you except my Jewish mother screaming for similar atrocities to her bathroom. Ok, no more experiments and no more mad moms!
Today, I try to very carefully color my hair using a salon (expensive but the gray is totally eradicated) or by the box from the shelf put on with some help from my husband. This method is cheaper but the color is not consistent and I end up with the gray showing itself earlier. But why is the gray overpopulating itself in the first place? I am about 80% gray in the front and it proceeds over my scalp to about 30% in the back. And its WHITE not really gray so that it does not take up the color well at all! If it was over the entire surface, I might be tempted to allow myself to go all white. It can be very pretty like my Mom-Mom's hair was. But no, it is in shocks like Cruella DeVille and maybe my younger boys will oft like to compare me to, I am not into cartooning myself.
I can reconcile myself to using hair color products, that is minor. This brings me to my second inquiry. I am not happy with, shall I be tactful, leakage. Yup, having a problem there. If I sneeze, cough, laugh or even cross my eyes, I need to run for a bathroom. I tried cutting back on fluids, lowering my caffeine intake (that really hurt) and watching my sugar ingestion in case I may be pre-diabetic. Being diabetic can be a possibility as it runs in the family and this causes extra output of urine due to sugar spilling over into the bladder. TMI yet folks? You have no idea! I have taken to carrying extra underwear in a ziploc . . . just in case. It beats going around commando! Poise is no longer a term used in describing good manners but rather what I might to buy instead of pads! Depends cannot be far behind but I am not going there for many years yet . . . I hope!!
The third thing I am dealing with is the snap, crackle and grind of my joints. My scoliosis has gotten worse. My knees are louder than my husband's snoring. My elbows crack, hips pop and back is all-around losing ground. My feet hurt even when I am not standing. Can we say Arthritis? Guess so! Why? I have been pretty good with exercise. Ok, so lazy is a major term in my lexicon, but I try. I walk when I can, swim at the YMCA and I do lots of handwork like knitting to keep my hands from tightening up. So why do I make such noises after getting up from the table? I am grunting and groaning and no sex is involved!
Which brings me to another subject! I have already had my introduction to menopause much earlier than my contemporaries because at age 42 I had both ovaries removed prophylactically to help reduce my cancer risk. The hot flashes are not as bad anymore. I can layer clothing with the best of them and Larry has gotten used to sleeping with being alternately frozen and burning up depending on the position of the window and/or blankets.
But what about this "being in my prime" horse manure? And if I am in my "prime" why didn't it come with a younger man to take advantage of it? Oh, I get paid attention to very well. And I will attest to practicing saying, "Cuddling is so much better now! I really enjoy it and it replaces hot sex. After all, we are older now." Do I really believe what I am espousing? Yes, to some extent. But I kind of miss it. Safe sex has changed its meaning. It is safe as long as nobody moves the wrong way and pulls a muscle or pops a joint! Funny how meanings such as that change with age.
I have changed as well. No amount of skin creams or magical herbals or yoga will erase the timelines. It will not turn back the clock. I will attempt to grow old gracefully but whining and kicking the whole way. As long as my inner child never grows old.
Love and hugs,