Thursday, April 29, 2010

Too Much Information??

I am not one to mince words. Nor do I suffer in silence, ha ha! So today I am posing questions concerning major changes in my Half Century Body.

First of all, the gray hair is multiplying. Its OK since I have been coloring my hair as far back as in high school. I used to gather at my friend Karen's house and we experimented. One time we tried to put henna in our hair. Both of us have dark hair, well, according to memory it was dark. So henna was a failure since it really didn't show up. Afterwards when I tried it at home, I thought my mother would kill me while I was using it because I caused some henna stains on the wallpaper and no real evidence of it doing a thing to my hair.

Then one time we tried using hair painting which was what they called highlights in the 70's. This became disaster number two because if I recall, we bleached part of her mom's bath towel. Nothing like an Italian screaming at you except my Jewish mother screaming for similar atrocities to her bathroom. Ok, no more experiments and no more mad moms!

Today, I try to very carefully color my hair using a salon (expensive but the gray is totally eradicated) or by the box from the shelf put on with some help from my husband. This method is cheaper but the color is not consistent and I end up with the gray showing itself earlier. But why is the gray overpopulating itself in the first place? I am about 80% gray in the front and it proceeds over my scalp to about 30% in the back. And its WHITE not really gray so that it does not take up the color well at all! If it was over the entire surface, I might be tempted to allow myself to go all white. It can be very pretty like my Mom-Mom's hair was. But no, it is in shocks like Cruella DeVille and maybe my younger boys will oft like to compare me to, I am not into cartooning myself.

I can reconcile myself to using hair color products, that is minor. This brings me to my second inquiry. I am not happy with, shall I be tactful, leakage. Yup, having a problem there. If I sneeze, cough, laugh or even cross my eyes, I need to run for a bathroom. I tried cutting back on fluids, lowering my caffeine intake (that really hurt) and watching my sugar ingestion in case I may be pre-diabetic. Being diabetic can be a possibility as it runs in the family and this causes extra output of urine due to sugar spilling over into the bladder. TMI yet folks? You have no idea! I have taken to carrying extra underwear in a ziploc . . . just in case. It beats going around commando! Poise is no longer a term used in describing good manners but rather what I might to buy instead of pads! Depends cannot be far behind but I am not going there for many years yet . . . I hope!!

The third thing I am dealing with is the snap, crackle and grind of my joints. My scoliosis has gotten worse. My knees are louder than my husband's snoring. My elbows crack, hips pop and back is all-around losing ground. My feet hurt even when I am not standing. Can we say Arthritis? Guess so! Why? I have been pretty good with exercise. Ok, so lazy is a major term in my lexicon, but I try. I walk when I can, swim at the YMCA and I do lots of handwork like knitting to keep my hands from tightening up. So why do I make such noises after getting up from the table? I am grunting and groaning and no sex is involved!

Which brings me to another subject! I have already had my introduction to menopause much earlier than my contemporaries because at age 42 I had both ovaries removed prophylactically to help reduce my cancer risk. The hot flashes are not as bad anymore. I can layer clothing with the best of them and Larry has gotten used to sleeping with being alternately frozen and burning up depending on the position of the window and/or blankets.

But what about this "being in my prime" horse manure? And if I am in my "prime" why didn't it come with a younger man to take advantage of it? Oh, I get paid attention to very well. And I will attest to practicing saying, "Cuddling is so much better now! I really enjoy it and it replaces hot sex. After all, we are older now." Do I really believe what I am espousing? Yes, to some extent. But I kind of miss it. Safe sex has changed its meaning. It is safe as long as nobody moves the wrong way and pulls a muscle or pops a joint! Funny how meanings such as that change with age.

I have changed as well. No amount of skin creams or magical herbals or yoga will erase the timelines. It will not turn back the clock. I will attempt to grow old gracefully but whining and kicking the whole way. As long as my inner child never grows old.

Love and hugs,


  1. Beth,
    Not that you would even want to deal with another surgery, but there is a procedure they can do to help with the leakage issue. If I sneeze too hard I have to cross my legs so I don't tinkle...LOL. My OBGYN offered to put this little bladder net in, she said it's a pretty minor surgery...Not sure if you've heard of it, just wanted to throw it out there. :)

  2. Beth,

    I have been to the doctors, gotten the tests and just been told that I have an over active bladder. I have also been told that losing some weight will also help the situation. And lastly they gave me a pill called vesicare which helps me. But it is always good to go to the doctor to make sure it is not the start of some other old age problem. And yes the doctors tell me continually that I am getting older and with age these problems will come. I do believe as we all got to the half century mark we all will have similar problems. But I like you will try to do so gracefully but still kicking and screaming all the way.

    And you are correct when you have those gray spots and you do not use the correct coloring for yourself you will not get an all over coverage. So I go to the hair dressers a couple of times during the year and try different things during my not so busy time during the winter. But I can honestly tell you I love my hair when the hair dresser is done with me. LOL

    The doctors have continually played with my medicines and now I am on Mobic I think it is spelled for my arthritis. I will let you know in another week or so how it is working for me.

    The mornings are tough going for me. Getting up is a slow process and I get to my computer and take my pills and play some games until I feel human again. And by then my wonderful husband had gotten me coffee and I am ready to face the world again.

    So maybe we do not do all the same things the same way we used to, but with a little practice we still can be the inner child we all feel inside dying to get out.

    I am happy where I am in life and as long as my husband still gives me a wink now and again I am very happy with him. LOL

    So the days I am feeling down or feeling my age, I put on some makeup and a bring outfit and I am ready to meet the world. But I can agree with you that I am finding those days happening more often. But I am still ok...and then I chuckle to myself thinking about my grandmother and how cool I thought she was wearing some really cool and bright outfits. And I think to I understand why she was so and my day is so much better.

    I enjoyed know that I am not the only one going though these changes. Reading what you had to say made me feel ok with life....Thanks so much for sharing.


  3. I'm sending away for some "Frownies" which are these little stick-on things that help erase frown lines, etc. I'll let you know if they accomplish anything!! LOL. I'm over halfway through this decade & it's been a massive sleigh ride so far!!! Why doesn't someone warn us??

  4. Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. I was wondering if anyone reads what I write anywhere other than Facebook, lol. you are right, I am not in the market for more surgeries. And I would like to control the leakage with the Kegel exercises that the GYN gave me.

    @Kay, I am glad my sharing was not too over the top and helped someone. I feel if I touched your life, I must have touched others who did not comment.

    @Kathi, let me know about the "Frownies"! I think I got some warning from my mother and grandmother on hot flashes. My mom used to go out in the middle of winter sans coat and I remember my gandmother wearing a handkerchief when she was hot and sweaty and I now understand why she was hot!

  5. I understand about the whole white hair thing. the best coverage I ever got was also when I paid way too much money to a hairdresser. I pretty much give up with that though, I can't afford it, the white comes back too fast. However, I did notice that trying to get my hair all one color on my own with a box of home dye from rite aid doesn't cut it, then when the roots come in lighter it looks stupid. As far as when I was able to go to the salon and sit there for the 2 hours, my hairdresser suggested I just go with it. She did this process called flocking. She used two dyes, one was a carmel, the other was a blonde of some sort and streaked it through my hair, the white hair took the carmel well and the blonde turned more of a wheat color, so it looked white to me anyway, but it all blended really well with my not yet white hair. It looked modern and fresh, but not like a teenybopper. I am pretty sure they sell flocking kits at drugstores and sally beauty supply definitely has them.
    Good luck though, cause I haven't tried the home flocking kit myself yet. Advice from the hairdresser I will never forget, "when you are a brunette and your hair starts turning, start dying it lighter colors than your brunette hair, then it wont be as noticeable when white roots start coming in." I never thought of it before, but it made a lot of sense.